This is perhaps the most unfair book review I’ve ever written. And because I don’t even like to write book reviews, this post is a hard one to put to proverbial paper. That said, I nevertheless need to get it off my chest — fair or not — so read at your own risk.
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole has caused me to do something that I’ve only done on a few rare occasions in my reading past: toss the book out a frozen bathroom window and plunge my head into frigid toilet water.
Over the Christmas break, I signed up for an Audible account and downloaded this book. I’d had it on my “read” list for quite some time, and because it was offered as a free download for new accounts, I decided the time was perfect to join and get a good book. The download did not proceed as smoothly as I would have expected, though this was probably my fault since I was using a new computer (a shiny new Apple iMac), a new operating system (Mac OS X), and attempting to get it to play nicely with iTunes — an exercise in frustration, at best. Still, after a bit of forum perusing and a couple of support emails, I managed to get everything in working order and fired up on my iPhone.
And here’s where the train jumps the tracks.
The narrator of this audiobook, Barrett Whitener, does a fantastic job of “reading” this book. He creates a vivid sense of New Orleans and the colorful, comical characters that inhabit Toole’s fictional French Quarter. Each character has a unique sense of voice, as does the narrators voice, so that you always have a sense of who’s talking to whom as well as when the narrator is simply moving the story along.
And it’s in that sense of voice characterization that lies the unforgivable fault in this audio version of what is essentially a truly remarkable book: the author has got the main character, Ignatius J. Reilly, all wrong.
According to criticism I’ve read, Ignatius is a bit of a doddering curmudgeon; an overweight, low self-monitor sort of man, impossible to suffer and who is still living under his poor mother’s roof — all at the whopping old age of 30. But Whitener’s oral interpretation of Ignatius makes him sound like an irascible old man merely days away from completing his fifth or sixth decade upon this earth. And because so much of what happens in this book is funny only because it happens to a man in early middle-age (as opposed to a man settling into his silver years), an incorrect portrayal simply ruins what has to be an otherwise good read. After all, you don’t win a Pulitzer Prize (as Toole did for this book) without a fine piece of art on which to hang the award.
Strange as it might sound, each of the following are true — simultaneously:
- A Confederacy of Dunces is a very good book and rightfully deserves the moniker “Modern-Day Classic”
- A Confederacy of Dunces is an exceptionally poor audiobook and deserves immediate removal from the store with a full refund owed to its listeners
- The narrator of this audiobook is extremely talented and does a wonderful job of bringing this book to life through the spoken word
- The narrator of this audiobook commits a nearly unforgivable injustice via his portrayal of the main character, Ignatius J. Reilly, so much so that to continue listening feels like an act of betrayal to the memory of the author himself, God rest his soul
It saddens me to think that I may never experience this work as the author had intended. After committing so much time and energy just to cross the halfway point, I bristle at the notion of ever entering this fictional universe again. Though I know it’s unfair, my emotional response to this piece of literature is cast. Much time will need to pass before I could ever entertain the thought of actually “reading” this book.
Sadly, my foray into A Confederacy of Dunces ended in literary tragedy. Perhaps the worst criticism leveled at an author is when a reader stops reading. Illogical as it may be — forgive me Mr. Toole, this debacle was never your fault — sometimes the heart trumps the head.
Who knows. In the end, perhaps this elevates me to the standing of Commander-In-Chief of this particular confederacy.
